Dracula's Rival - NOT!!

Since I first heard of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight around last year through murmurs in the dorm, particularly through a dorm-mate who likes reading chick lit. I came under the impression that Twilight is chick lit; chick lit for me is highly unsophisticated and unworthy of my eyes, which I think should be exposed to classical and canonical literature, including those I haven’t finished yet, like Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables and Homer’s epic The Iliad, which, in the words of Lisa Simpson, “practically started the whole Western literary tradition.” (I paused reading the epic at Book 11, just halfway through the entire story.)

I'm not really sure how I came to the subconscious conclusion that Twilight might not be good for me. I'm guessing that because of its being just another vampire novel made me think: “So what’s new?”
Later, I learned that it’s not exactly chick lit; at least not like books like How to Survive a Breakup or Between Dinnertime and the Morning After, which I hear are awful. After all, considering how many people actually love Twilight, I guess it might not be as bad as I think. I don’t believe that many people can be so stupid to fall for something that’s not worth reading, if Twilight is that bad.

So around September or December last year, I thought Twilight could be worth a shot. But in case it was bad, I was unwilling to spend a peso for it. To my delight, my roommate sensed my curiosity and was generous enough to send me the e-books of the entire series.

I’ve read only at least two pages of the first book Twilight and I was unable to continue. The writing was only as good as the average online fan fiction, meaning it’s not even good enough to be published as an expensive book and distributed worldwide.

I think the appeal of the books come from the fact that the characters are attractive and its premise is something that any teenage girl would fall for. But even that is an undignified quality if applied to any proper book. A good book can get anybody’s attention; an excellent book can attract more than its target audience. Harry Potter is not the best novel series ever, but its charm and witty language caught the attention of children and adults alike.

But Twilight—its immature language ruins its chances of being something good to read. Yeah, I would say that the premise is cliched, but there's no telling it would work or not. Obviously, it did, but only to a certain extent. The problem of the book was the writing itself.

After reading excerpts of the first book, I learned that it's not just the beginning of the book that was bad; the rest of it is.

I've read an excerpt of the scene of Bella's first day in school. She describes there how she somehow attracts everyone's attention, how everybody's head turns to her direction. As I remember earlier in the story, Bella does not find herself very attractive with her paleness, so why would anyone else take notice of her? And even if Meyer was using the unreliable narrator tactic when Bella describes her own appearance, it still does not explain why every head would turn to her direction. Even the prettiest girls in existence don't get that kind of attention.

In relation to this, Bella previously resided in Arizona, where she loves the sun. If she loves the sun so much, one would think she would soak herself in its light, giving her a tan. Why and how would she remain so white, then?

Another annoying scene I bumped into is the one where Bella first sees the Cullens. Here, Meyer displays her excessibve dependence on adjectives. She uses "beautiful" and "perfect" more than once. Meyer does not exactly fail to explain why they're beautiful or perfect, but the character's teenage awe gets in the way of making a description that could have been more eloquent than what was printed.

Furthermore, what constitutes beauty or perfection anyway? If Bella describes one of the Cullens to be of an athletic build, what could possibly make that more perfect than Anna Kournikova's body, for instance?

It doesn't mean that she's so vague that I can't see what the scene intends me to. I do, but the language, its limited vocabulary makes it less than it could have been. What makes it worse is that this language makes Bella sound stupid; whether or not she is, the author seems to be making the character's age as an excuse to let the narrative fall apart.

Although I discourage my sisters from reading the book, I am not going to tell people that reading Twilight would show how unintelligent they are. (I've seen online articles that say that.) I won't. But if anybody reads this, let me just say that there are better books to buy. Go get them. If you're into vampire novels in particular, grab Bram Stoker's Dracula. Let's just say that this is where you see what the vampire really is.