Dumbele

I remember rehearsing an excerpt of this piece back in 2005 with the UST Chorus of Arts and Letters; not long after hearing my older choir-mates rehearse in the university park, putting me in a trance of awe. I never got to perform this with them because I left the choir later that year.

This music conjures in my head images of ancient Filipinos pleading to their rain and fertility deities over a dying field. ... beautiful ...

Fake Evanescence

I first heard of We Are The Fallen in a vlog by a YouTuber by obsessedwithamylee, who made it clear that “I do not support this band … Amy Lee is Evanescence.” That was, like, at least half a year ago. I didn’t bother finding out anything about this band beyond that it’s composed of former Evanescence members including Ben Moody. I didn’t really care at all because considering that all of We Are The Fallen are former Evanescence members, I'm pretty sure that they’ll just sound exactly like Evanescence without Amy Lee. I was ticked off enough knowing that Ben Moody supposedly said, in a nutshell, that they’re better than Evanescence would ever be.

Like obsessedwithamylee, I do not support this band either, so I put them out of my mind until a few days ago, when I was watching videos in YouTube of Evanescence’s “secret show” in New York from November 2009. For some reason, people kept mentioning Carly Smithson in the comments; if you didn’t know who this person is already, you might remember her as a tattooed Amy Lee look-alike from the 7th season of American Idol whose final performance was of “Jesus Christ Superstar” for Broadway (Andrew Lloyd Webber) week. I was taken aback when I saw a comment saying “F**k Carly Smithson!” and I got confused; a powerful singer, Smithson was my favorite contestant of that season so I couldn’t see what people would possibly have against her. Then, in another video, I found another comment that clarified everything: “… We Are The Fallen is Ben Moody’s new band. Which is Evanescence’s first album Fallen and fake ass Carly Smithson as the replacement for Amy Lee.”

This came off as a bit of a shock for me. I have great respect for Smithson as a singer and performer, and I was kinda heartbroken that Ben Moody and Co. would use her like this. Forgive my choice of words, but that’s how I feel. Carly Smithson is a powerful singer; having her in this band makes her look like a fake, and she’s not. Ben and Co. ought to be ashamed of themselves. They are arrogant and pompous for constantly comparing themselves to Evanescence and then pulling Carly in. This endeavor is in vain and I hope that Evanescence (according to Amy Lee, they’re recording for a new album) will outshine We Are The Fallen, which I think will happen.

Deception

A shroud of lace
Covers my eyes
Conceals my face
And all your lies

You bought my love
With sweetened drugs
I soared above
Held down by tugs

So much damage
No veil can hide
All the sickness
Hidden inside

Fundamentalists and Hypocrites

In my teens, I was under a struggle with my faith. Then, when I was 19, upon learning that God can help those who have been seriously hurt, like ex-atheist-turned-Christian-rock-star Lacey Mosley, who has been outspoken about her faith since she was rescued from suicide at 16 years old, I thought, How could I doubt He can rescue me, too, when she got bigger problems than I?

I was raised a Catholic, and I loved to read Bible stories. My favorite parable was the one about the Parable of the Talents, but the one that struck me the most was the Parable of the Unforgiving Slave. From that, I learned to take Jesus's two powerful commandments seriously: 37Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” In relation with the Parable of the Unforgiving Slave, I'm going to focus on the second commandment.

I've been a YouTube user since 2007, I think, and I've come upon many atheists, who, despite their blatant refusal to understand how faith works, have earned my respect because of their intelligence that I could only wish that they find find God and accept that He loves them. Sadly, most of the rest of these internet atheists are trolls who bash Christians and Christianity for the sake of proving the invalidity of the Christian faith and religion in general. But what breaks my heart even more are the Christians who shove their religion in people's faces and pretend to know so much about their faith but totally behave the opposite way of how they're supposed to.

God gave us free will so we would love and serve Him with all our heart. Even if we turn away from Him, we are free to go back. We are made in His image and likeness, so we are expected to act by our divine nature and let others think and act on their own. We are not to impose our faith on anyone; the most we can do is encourage them.

Just last night, I came upon an arrogant Christian in the comments section under a video with a Nine Inch Nails song called "Heresy". He (or she) was arguing with an atheist, trying to prove the existence of God by explaining the "order of the universe". I knew he was trying to do what St. Thomas Aquinas did in Summa Theologia, where Aquinas strained his reason to explain how there is a God, and with that, he filled out a big, fat book. Thomas Aquinas was a brilliant man; even so, I don't believe that explaining God with all his human reason was a piece of cake. That the Christian on YouTube attempted that in a single comment seemed to me so arrogant to the point of being ludicrous. I genuinely felt very bad for him and the person he is arguing with because the Christian guy won't get respect, and the atheist would not understand where the discussion is going. I gave him a piece of my mind: "It's people like you and your 'just because' arguments that make Christianity look bad. You're not making any sense. You don't give out such broad points and expect people to understand you. If you want to prove God is real, you show it, not shove it." That was fair, wasn't it? But he lashed out at me with "its people like you who should EAT A DICK lololol".

An earlier comment controlled my urge to lash back, and it made me feel heaps better. "... In case you read this, I believe in God as well but I don't shove it in people's faces and talking down to people because they don't. You should try it, stop being close minded. ..." I guess it wasn't worth it to fight back. I already did my part on showing him how to defend his faith; if he doesn't listen, let him face the consequences. For someone who believes in God, he surely has no idea how to show it. Christians are supposed to show love and kindness, even to those who spite them, for 'tis in this way that others would learn how it is to love the way that God taught us.

Arguing with a Non-Catholic

Just a few years ago, I reaffirmed my faith in God. My participation in the church choir helped better my understanding of my faith. As a Catholic, I also believe in the intercession of Mary and the saints. Non-Catholic sects perceive it as worshipping Mary and the saints instead of God; I would like to point out that it doesn’t work that way.

I’ve had at least one encounter with atheists challenging Christians to debates. At first, I thought it was difficult, but I spoke too soon. It’s a little more challenging when a fellow Christian—non-Catholic—criticizes Catholicism and brands it as a phony. There’s one Christian YouTuber than outright bashed Catholicism on his MySpace blog. I was so not pleased. Since I don’t have a MySpace account, I commented him on his YouTube profile. I was relatively calm, but I can not stand that he accused Catholics of worshipping Mary or the Pope, and also said that the Catholic Church is a phony Church made by man, which is ridiculous.

“Don’t bash something you don’t understand,” I told him. He apologized right away, and pointed out his views according to the Scriptures, which is perfectly fine. But I noticed through the Biblical quotes that he posted that he has a rather fundamentalist perception of Christianity and the Church. He showed me that the True Church is the one that will come on the Apocalypse, the New Jerusalem, according to the Book of Revelation.

I understand his views. But I think he missed out on a few basic facts:

Christianity as an established religion began with the Roman Catholic Church in Rome, when Emperor Constantine legalized Christianity and made it the official religion in Rome. The Greek Orthodox Church kinda made a big deal about it, but since Rome was the one in power at the time, the Roman Catholic Church was recognized as the origin of Christianity as we know it today.

But that’s not saying that St. Peter (who is widely recognized as the first Pope because Jesus appointed him as the Rock or cornerstone) or Constantine established the Church. Jesus is the true Founder of the Church; He is the Head, and the Church His Body; the children of God, the “Beautiful Bride [and] Body of Christ; one flesh abiding, strong and unifying.” (From “Beautiful Bride” by Flyleaf) St. Peter and the succeeding Popes are just His earthly representatives.

The YouTuber did not argue further; neither did I. As far as I’m concerned, (and I’m sure he feels the same way, too) we shouldn’t even be arguing in the first place because we worship the same God; we are both His children. Although his insinuations still gets my blood boiling, I am willing to keep my cool. “Peace be with you, my brother in Christ,” I told him on my last PM. To my surprise, he was just as willing to make peace with me; he added me as a friend on YouTube. I accepted.

I hope that’s that.

Jacob's Kiss

For the past several months, I’ve been joining the bandwagon of Twilight Haters (a.k.a. “anti’s”) who read the entire Twilight series for the sake of either acquiring concrete basis for their dislike, or for having something to make fun of. I am doing it for the former, and to try to find the reason why fans of the series exist in the first place.

I am now more than halfway through Eclipse—a feat that I never thought was possible until I was there. Eclipse, the third volume of the so-called Saga, was the straw that broke the camel’s back for many a hater, and even a few fans. The highlighted reasons for this are as follows:

1. Edward’s abusive and controlling behavior
a. Taking out the engine of her truck to keep her from visiting her best friend Jacob
b. Bribing his sister Alice with a yellow Porsche to take Bella hostage
2. Jacob forcing a kiss on Bella

So many anti’s have discussed the first one that I feel I don’t have to tire myself by repeating my fellow haters’ sentiments. However, I have my own complaints about it, aside from the fact that Edward is a glorified abuser. I have a problem with Bella’s viewpoint about it. When Alice picks her up from work, Bella figures out what was going on and asks, “Alice, don’t you think this is just a little bit controlling? Just a tiny bit psychotic, maybe?” Alice responds with: “Not really. You don’t seem to grasp how dangerous a young werewolf can be. Especially when I can’t see them. Edward has no way to know if you’re safe. You shouldn’t be so reckless.” If you ask me, even with consideration with the circumstances involved, what Edward did was improper, especially for a boyfriend. But Bella automatically accepts Alice’s explanation, as though it was the most reasonable thing in the world. I was even more disgusted, later, when Jacob confronts Bella about what Edward did: “You forgave him for all that?” Bella answers, “There was nothing to forgive.”

Really? Practically taking her vehicle apart—nothing? Acting as if he has any authority over her—nothing? They are lovers! They are supposed to be equals! Keeping Bella safe—that is not Edward’s job; he is not her father. Behaving like one just takes their relationship to a whole new level: their love becomes more perverse than it already is; the protective paternal gesture merges erotic and filial love.

Most fans claim that Bella’s willingness for Edward to do these things justifies his actions. What these fans don’t realize is that victims of abuse are often in denial and unable to recognize the signs of abuse because they are blinded by love; they fool themselves into thinking that that their love is worth sacrificing their freedom and personal happiness, or that maybe the guy has a good reason. This is exactly how Bella’s mind works. She doesn’t quite realize she’s being victimized by her boyfriend, who probably doesn’t realize he’s going about things the wrong way either.

This brings me to the next point: Jacob forcing himself on Bella, to the point of kissing her without permission. To female anti’s in particular, this is a big deal. It’s extremely improper for a man to kiss a woman once she’s made it clear that she’s in love with someone else. When Jacob kisses her so forcefully, she has every right to be angry. But wait, does she?

Maybe it’s the part of me screaming “TEAM JACOB!” that’s trying to cut Jacob some slack. To some extent, Jacob has his own valid points in the conversation before and after the kiss:

“You wouldn’t have to change anything for me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you just as well as your vampire can — maybe better. And I would make you happy, Bella. There’s so much I could give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn’t even kiss you like that — because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you, Bella.”
(Eclipse – PDF, page 255)

“They told me I couldn’t tell you — that it wasn’t safe for you if we were together. But I never left, never! I used to run around your house at night — like I do now. Just making sure you were okay.”
(Eclipse – PDF, page 255)

If you ask me, that’s more than enough reason for Bella to choose Jacob over Edward. The kiss, in a way, was his last desperate attempt of claiming her. I was ticked off by Jacob’s show of arrogance after the kiss. This is probably why many fans go for Team Edward. But thanks to another anti’s opinion, I now share her sentiment on the possibility that Stephenie Meyer made Jacob a jerk to make Edward look good by comparison. But I take that as Jacob’s mask, his attempt to his sense of defeat, especially in front of Edward. It’s not so different from Leah Clearwater, who keeps a brave face while she could only watch her ex fall in love with her second cousin, her best friend Emily Young.

I haven’t read up on Leah Clearwater yet. I shall be making a new entry about her soon.

Why I'm Going to Watch New Moon

As much as I hate the Twilight series in general, I am looking forward to seeing the first sequel New Moon. I read the book, in my effort to understand what it is that Twi-Hards love so much about the series. Months ago, I would have said that I would watch New Moon to bash it like I did Twilight. After I read New Moon, I found that it’s something that I actually would like to see, for some reason.

Don’t get me wrong: I still don’t like Twilight. And New Moon is not any better than Twilight. It’s just as badly written; there is no character development; and Bella Swan remains such a poor excuse for a protagonist that she puts to shame even stupid fourteen-year-old Juliet Capulet, who she likes identifying with so much. In fact, Bella comparing herself to Juliet is rather arrogant; in analogy, it’s Stephenie Meyer comparing herself to Shakespeare, which is just as ridiculously pompous. Talk about delusions of grandeur.

However, if there’s anything good that I encountered in reading New Moon was the freshness that Jacob Black brings to Bella Swan’s life after Edward Cullen so cruelly leaves her. Sunny and charming, Jacob is fun to be with and easy to talk with. Even at the time when his own life changes and he has to keep secrets from Bella, he doesn’t make things hard for her by pretending that there is nothing wrong going on. His relationship with her is based more on a real bond of friendship rather than magic (in Edward’s case). There is vulnerability in Jacob that is so captivating that it rivals the invincibility that Edward seems to put off. This is what I would love to see interpreted in the big screen.

Meanwhile, after viewing the trailers of New Moon, another thing that fascinated me was the treatment that the adaptation gives to the so-called Volturi, an ancient coven of vampires residing in Volterra, Italy, who act as a sort of government for vampires.

The Volturi makes sure that the existence of vampires is kept secret from humans. They also make it a point to observe discipline among vampires, meaning that vampires must not kill too many humans at a time so as to not risk exposing their existence. I didn’t see much of this facet of the Volturi in New Moon because the book focuses solely on Bella mourning over a runaway boyfriend a great deal more than a normal person would grieve over a dead loved one.

After reading about the Volturi in Twilight fansites, I was almost instantly interested. Aro, the elderly coven leader, for example, likes to collect people with supernatural talents and turn them into vampires to add to the Volturi. Among these people are young twins Jane (Dakota Fanning) and Alec (Cameron Bright, X-Men: The Last Stand), who have powers they use for mental torture. And as displayed in the third trailer, we see Felix (Daniel Cudmore, X-Men: The Last Stand) fighting Edward Cullen, which is going to be quite interesting, because such a scene did not exist in the book. It was kind of a treat for me, too, because I really like to see somebody beating Edward Cullen.

So those are my reasons for watching New Moon later this month. If anything, I expect it’s gonna be nice to look at. Jacob Black’s wolf transformation in the first trailer is amazing.