Another Epiphany: Enjoying the Backstreet Boys Again

Since becoming a self-proclaimed rock fan in the last eight years, my rediscovery of rock music (especially from the 90’s) led me to think that it’s shameful to like rock music but have a history of having my entire bulletin board covered in Backstreet Boys posters. In my teens particularly, my fixation with Linkin Park, and later also Avril Lavigne and Evanescence, somehow taught me a pessimistic/naturalistic worldview, and I thought that Backstreet Boy songs were essentially meaningless. I was certainly disillusioned when boy band contemporaries Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (whose music videos I tried to dance along with at the age of 12) turned out to be “frauds”—Britney having already lost her virginity at age 14 and nothing more than a sex symbol; and Christina downplaying her own superior singing talent for using sex appeal with her fake boobs. It doesn’t help that in recent years, I’ve also become disillusioned with nü metal, which is now viewed by the wide internet community to be “emo”, because unlike 90’s rock and roll, which incorporated heartfelt poetry with inventive electronic sounds (complex guitar riffs; in Nine Inch Nails’ case, industrial music), nü metal is repetitive, passing off verses brimming with petty and shallow teen angst as songs when plastered onto rhythms that sound the same with nearly every band in the same category.

Now finding myself suddenly squirming in delight again from videos of Nick Carter on YouTube (music videos, interviews AND his vlogs) as well as viewing the Backstreet Boys videos I loved when I was younger, I felt somehow rejuvenated. Even when I found myself cringing in embarrassment over the choreography and hand gestures, I felt—happy.

I acknowledge that I might actually be regressing right now, but something tells me that my desire to conform (ironically, to nonconformist music) is not worth becoming ashamed of 90’s mainstream teenybopper, bubblegum pop music because that was the kind of music I loved and grew up with. It’s a bit embarrassing for me, but in a playful way; I’m not necessarily ashamed to admit it anymore. Yes, I used to scream every time “I Want It That Way” and “Shape of My Heart” was played on MTV. But so did a lot of people—millions of girls worldwide. And having other fans as obsessed as me is beside the point; loving this music made me happy. It doesn’t matter whether they were mainstream or not; to listen to music that makes me happy, no matter what anyone says, is what counts.