Flex Like Carrie

For this Halloween, I'd like to celebrate how I became a writer. It was mid-2001, and I was a 13-year-old high school freshman. Unknowingly suffering from depression from near-constant school bullying since age 5, art was my release. But besides drawing for leisure, I was in love with reading. I was also a budding writer at the time. I didn't know it back then because I didn't know that it was actually difficult for some people to express themselves in writing when, in my mind, all I really have to do is use proper grammar, mind my spelling, and use slang with care, and adopt minimal profanity. I was an avid reader, and I might have read most literary classics if it weren't for my depression draining me of energy and enthusiasm for doing the things that I love.

This makes me extremely thankful for a friend of mine for recommending Carrie by Stephen King to me. I was unfamiliar with Stephen King at the time, and until Carrie, the only novels I've read were the Harry Potter books. So, Carrie was a refreshing read for me. The false document style of the novel was ingenious work, quite an achievement for somebody's first novel. Most importantly, as someone who was made to be a social outcast at school, Carrie White was my hero. Reading about how she destroyed the prom and almost everyone there gave me the most satisfying feeling. The prom scene from the 1976 adaptation starring Sissy Spacek did not quite do it justice. 37 years of technological advancement in filmmaking did the trick. When I watched the 2013 adaptation starring Chloe Moretz (who also looked like Carrie from the book), the experience was exactly how I read the book.



Watching this brings me back to that day in the library when I read this scene from the book and just felt so exhilarated that I had to write my "version." Instead, I got a better idea: I wrote an entirely different novel around the idea of a bullied schoolgirl with a supernatural ability. I will not disclose any more details about my novel. The point is that Stephen King's Carrie introduced me to a genre that I love. Beyond just horror, he adopts a degree of magical realism and combines horror elements with prolific storytelling inspired from Alfred Hitchcock and film adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe's works. Stephen King's novels and adaptations of his works don't need many Jump Scares, if any at all. Carrie and The Shining are two of the most effective horror movies where the scare is entirely in the storytelling.

I might not be able to move objects with my mind, but I can write stories well. And perhaps, like Stephen King, I can inspire others, too.

An Artist's Lament: Reacting to Gab Valenciano's Facebook Post

Earlier today, I had a very interesting and insightful chat with a Filipino Uber driver and he said something that stuck...
Posted by Gabriel Valenciano on Sunday, September 13, 2015

I just realized I hadn't Liked or Shared this post until now, because I was so awestruck at Gab Valenciano's message that I read it, contemplated on it for a few moments, and went back to work. (I might have been subtitling an urgent Jimmy Fallon episode at the time.) What struck me about this post is that it gave me an overwhelming relief that I'm not alone, that even the handsome and talented son of an equally handsome and talented singer/actor/dancer feels marginalized in the industry where his own father is being celebrated in nearly three decades now. He's right: It's difficult to be an artist in the Philippines. Specific fields are given especial importance, but individuals aren't typically encouraged to pursue any of them, because we are brought up from childhood to pursue corporate work. When I was a child, everybody's dream job was to work "in an office," like you see on TV, where people work in cubicles and wear slacks and dress shirts and neckties. At the time, my parents were an Air Force pilot and a nurse, which were considerably more active than working "in an office." What on earth do you actually do in an office anyway? While I didn't see anything particularly wrong with that, I didn't see myself in that kind of environment. Even when I began to show signs of artistic talent in both visual art and writing, it didn't occur to me until college that I could pursue art as a career. Neither society nor the educational system encourages the idea. They don't present us with steps to take that path, either. Anyone who expresses the desire to do so is typically discouraged because art in any form is ultimately economically impractical and does not contribute to society whatsoever.

While I am lucky enough to have parents who were happy to let me study Literature in college, it's after graduation that I felt the brunt of the fact that, particularly in this country, art is not a career opportunity. When I search for "writing jobs," all I get are outsourcing companies trying to snag frustrated artists by slapping the word "creative" in their job advertisements. This is why art isn't encouraged. It has little to no value for corporations, who need expendable skilled workers to work for them and pay for their time. There are no such companies actively seeking an artist. Artists have to look for their own ways to earn income; and while the educational system does encourage creativity, it doesn't teach artists how to earn without relegating their art into a useless hobby.

Some might say I bear the mark of my generation, the one that isn't satisfied with having just any little job just to earn some money. But I believe that work isn't just a means to earn money; it is self-fulfillment, and nothing fulfills me more than art. Henceforth, I became determined to find a job where my skills for perfect my art can be exercised. After nearly two years as an article writer in an overworking-but-low-paying SEO reseller, I felt that I was part of a machine rather than a human being creating organic art.

Fast forward to 2015, I am back to working "in an office" - albeit a casual wear office - but it's still an 8-hour job. And while I love my job very much (Who wouldn't want to get paid watching random movies and TV show episodes?), this still isn't what I wanted for myself. I want to be writing the movies and TV series instead of transcribing them. I sought to become a TV writer and revolutionize Philippine TV. However, the steps I have taken did not lead me there. The options available to me could lead me only to corporate work, and only corporate work could give me a stable income. But it would never be fulfilling.

Having read the younger Valenciano's sad post, I realize that I probably couldn't have changed anything even if I did make it into a broadcasting network. While my screenwriting mentor has taught my classmates and me about the value of creative integrity, writers have little control over what happens to their scripts when directors interpret them on the set. At the end of the day, all studios care about is the money they get for giving their target audience what they want instead of what they need. They want modern fairy tales even though they need thought-provoking narratives of multiple genres. It's like giving a child chips and candy when they're clearly in need of vegetables and lean meat. But the television and film industry isn't about to let me give my audience a healthy diet of substance. Jerrold Tarog might have been lucky that his Heneral Luna was met with high regard, but I'm seriously afraid that such beautiful filmmaking won't extend to other genres any time soon because the media is much too engrossed in following silly trends instead of setting them with meaningful stories.

I don't know what's going to happen to me if I do what Gab Valenciano did and go to the US to pursue art. But I do hope that when I do, I'll not only write, but also draw and paint again.